Artwork and Valentines...

Valentine's Day came and went, and as I posted earlier, the cupcakes were a hit with all the niece and nephews. That night, I made the "supreme sacrifice" and babysat 3 of them while my sister and hubby hit the town for a couple of hours. I believe they ended the romantic evening by stopping off at Safeway on the way home. Anyway...

I show up for the evening laden down with cupcakes, a Chaplin movie and high hopes that the 7 month old will not cry the entire evening from teething. The older two had made Valentine's cards for me, and their artistic renderings are too good not to share.

First up, my seven year old nephew...he obviously appreciates when I doodle Dr Suessian type fish for him, so he reciprocated with the following cover:

Yes, that is a "merman" diving in among the fishes. Complete with copious amounts of back hair. I love it! His fishes are very similar to the ones I can draw! The inside of the card is even better:

The poem is, of course, a classic! The spelling, not so much. He is obviously getting ready for his upcoming birthday with the blatant buttering up!

Next up, my ten year old niece...she is going in for a "modern art" edge to the card, with the off centered mushrooms and multicolored sky effect. Knowing how much I love wearing black, she has rendered me as a black fairy on the mushroom:

It's a great, colorful card and I hang it up at work (along with merman!) Of course, the inside of the card is just as great:
Like her brother, she is thinking ahead to birthday gifts and buttering me up. Her poem is awesome, a classic take on the theme! Her spelling, not so classic. I am hugging and thanking them profusely when I notice the back of the one card:
First off, these two KNOW I am terrified of bees, so the bee drawing is very funny, in a sick way...then I see the pencil etching next to it! What is this!?!

Here is a photo of the artists with their little sis...who gave me nothing but a dirty diaper and cried during "The Gold Rush"!

PS...the kids LOVED Chaplin...more about that another time.

Strange things are afoot along the beach...

A few months ago, I blogged about my walking path along the beaches and mountains where I live. I even took photos along the way, and commented in the following photo how I was just waiting for someone to drop off the side of the cliffs:

Well, last night I show up to walk and cannot gain access to the beach or trails as someone either jumped or fell 500 feet to their death. Helicopter rescue and recovery was out there removing the body from somewhere along these cliffs:

Very sad if he jumped; I can't help but wonder if it was brought on by a recent layoff or foreclosure in his life. The Bay Area has been very hard hit with layoffs lately, including my own company. Of course, everyone knows that this area ranks the highest in the nation for foreclosures as well. I see the for sale signs everywhere, and they don't come down in a matter of weeks, as they did 4 or 5 years ago!

Howver, if it wasn't suicide....it was a very EXPECTED outcome if it was one of the many dumbasses I see climbing around the edges of those cliffs every weekend (see first photo!). What is it with people who very clearly see the edge of a cliff, and feel the need to get up close and personal with it? I saw this very same behavior at the Grand Canyon. People disregarding the signs (in all languages) telling them that certain death was awaiting them if they went any further off trail. I don't understand the compulsion to tempt death.

What's strange about the death last night is that it's the third one in as many months here, all within a mile of each other along this beach! This little place goes for decades with no drama, and then 3 deaths in a row?

My "Forensic Files" loving nature is curious! Of course I will be walking there again this weekend...

Cake Violence and Decorating Demons

I admit, I am no Martha Stewart. Hell, Betty Crocker is a genius next to my abilities in the kitchen! I do bake cakes though, which my family seems to enjoy when they are devouring them. No one dies. Same with my cookies. No complaints.

HOWEVER, the "cake violence" that took place the other night is just one example of why I take no delight in such culinary tasks. I start out innocently enough, with the requisite Betty Crocker cake mix, eggs, water and oil. I grease the pans...I set the timer...I wait.

I check on the cakes and notice they don’t seem to be "cooking"..merely expanding and bubbling. Hmm...I move the racks to another level and re-set the timer. I wait some more. THIS is what comes out of the oven some 45 minutes later:

What the hell??? I have made cakes in these molds before... I used the same "Betty Crocker Recipe" that has served me well in the past. Never has such a disgusting result occurred in my kitchen. I mean look at these things:

I can't present this "thing" to my mother! Happy Birthday, here is a lovely, lopsided, tumor ridden cake with raw dough inside. Gotta go now!

So, after much cursing and tossing of cake down the drain, I decide my only option is to try again with a different mold. SAME RESULT!!!

What the hell is going on here? I don't have time to test my oven to find out what gremlin is implanted and messing with my cakes! I am now also out of several things here:

Patience

Vegetable oil

Motivation

Cake mix

With my mothers birthday looming mere hours away, I decide to forget the cake idea, go back to the store and reload (uh, with supplies, not the gun!) and turn to cupcakes for salvation.

I don't know why, but this method of dividing the cake mix and baking cakes in separate little compartments goes smoothly. I then make the mistake of attempting to be all creative and "decorate" the cupcakes. I have loads of the following artistic supplies:

I don't know how those "fancy" cupcake people manage to decorate them without committing some sort of icing violence. I was so pissed by the end of the night I ended up tossing all the crap above and turning to sprinkles!

Here are the three "acceptable" cupcakes I ended up giving to my mother for her birthday. Lets just say I was so glad I had a Starbucks card for her as well!

The following night was Valentines Day eve...so to save money I decided to go all out and bake cupcakes for my 10 niece and nephews as well:

About 3 dozen cupcakes, ready to "decorate". Dear god, before that started again, I should have medicated myself! I may have saved money by baking cupcakes instead of purchasing bags of crappy candy and scented pencils and such, but the cost to my nerves was very high.

You'll notice in the following photo lots of easy toppings such a sprinkles and candy hearts. Yes, no stencils and no fancy icing anymore. Everyone has their limits, and mine had been reached!
As I delivered these cupcakes to the families, I heard no three year old bitch about the placement of the candy heart, or any 8 year old comment on lopsided cupcake shape. The baby didn't point out how crooked the lines were. I only heard squeals of delight as the smell of sugar and candy permeated their hearts. And a few thank you auntie's...so I call... SUCCESS!

I watched Modern Times the other night, and fell in love with this film all over again.

Charlie Chaplin, master of dramedy before the term was even coined, really hits the mark with this, his last, and for the United States, the last silent movie. The movie centers on the very relevant issue of human beings being exploited as mere cogs in the machine of life. There is no need for me to do a full review of the film; there are hundreds of reviews available online already. I will merely share some favorite images and comment on them.

The factory sees the humans as mere extensions of the gears and conveyors that make whatever product it is they are making. As you can see here, the human is barely visible against the enormity of the machine:

Instead of a conveyor and machine parts, we now have cubicles and computers to chain us to work. I am happy though that we no longer have to work in dirty tank tops...those guys look nasty.

Bathroom breaks are monitored via web cams, a mere fantasy back in 1936, but quite a reality today:

Then there is "The Bellows Feeding Machine"...made so the worker never has to put down his tools and stop working to eat.

I often sit in my cubicle and eat as I work. Good lord, is this the next step?

Of course, you realize early on that the Tramp is going to snap. And he does, wonderfully, which only gets him fired and send to a sanatorium for a few weeks.

As if these guys needed more dirt on them!

When he is released from the hospital, he attempts to find work, but of course, he can't keep a job (it's the depression era after all) and after picking up a flag that fell off of a truck, he is mistaken as a "communist agitator" and arrested again:

In jail, he deals with a needlepoint thug, accidentally ingests cocaine and, while high, stops a prison break. This makes him a hero of course, and a candidate for early release.

Before he is thrust back out into the world of depression and hopelessness, there is a great scene where he deals with "indigestion noises" and a small dog:

Back outside, he finally meets "THE GIRL" and who wouldn't fall for a dirty street waif that looks like this:

The Girl has been living on the streets since running from the Law after she was orphaned. If I am ever arrested, I want a light like that one me, and my hair to look good messy, too.
Do I even need to mention the significance of the banana??

In a very "Les Miz" moment, the Tramp attempts to take the fall for the Girl stealing bread, but this bitch on the street keeps insisting it was the Girl, so in short order...she is arrested, the Tramp runs up a huge restaurant bill in order to get arrested, they meet again in the "paddy wagon", the wagon is involved in an accident and dumps everyone out, and they run for it. They end up resting on a side street and fantasize about having a job, food and a home:

Apparently, the fantasy homes back then had very high ceilings.

This fantasizing is enough to get the Tramp off his ass and looking for work again. He ends up working for a department store as a night watchman, which leads to a great scene where he roller skates blindfolded (showing off for the Girl) and doesn't realize the floor ends.

The Girl waits to be let in the store after hours.
The Girl puts on roller skates as well, and I only hope I can look that good if I ever end up homeless and in rags!

It's also a great place for the Girl to crash while he works...she revels in sleeping in the department store furs, in their bed, in the furniture department, while he guards the store. On roller skates.

But, as we know by now, the Tramp can't keep a job for long...his old (now unemployed) factory friends show up to rob the place and they get him drunk, and he ends up sleeping on a fabrics table...and a woman pulls him, ass up, from a pile of fabrics the next morning. Of course this means jail again...which apparently was the answer for any offence back then!

But look who is waiting for him when he is released!
While he was lounging around in jail, The Girl found them a "swell" place to live, along some channel, on the outskirts of the factory:

This reminds me of my first apartment, but I digress. The factories re-open, and the Tramp is put to work fixing the gears that have been laying idle.

But not for long. The workers go on strike and the factory is closed...again. Everyone is told to leave, the cops start tossing the strikers, the Tramp gets caught up in the fray and yes...you guessed it...back to jail.

When he gets out this time, The Girl is actually wearing a full outfit and has a job for him...see she has been dancing at a pier restaurant and if he can sing and wait table, he's got the job:

Here is The Girl convincing The Boss that The Tramp can indeed sing and wait table. Note the dubious look on the Tramp's face.
The Tramp is so inept that the Girl must write the song lyrics on his cuffs so he can look at them while singing. He runs out, starts flinging his arms about, loses the cuffs, and has to make up words as he sings. This is where Chaplin's genius comes into play. The song is in a made up nonsensical language, but the gestures actually make the song come to life. This scene is also notable as the first time the Tramp has been heard on film, so it works wonderfully.

So...all is going well, he is a hit and then The Girl has her turn:

She is so beautiful and eye catching that she catches the eye of two detectives who just happen to be dining there, and just happen to have a wanted picture of her. WANTED??? For what? According to the lovely wanted warrant, it's for vagrancy. How they managed to get that photo of her is what I want to know!
Here is the Law trying to take the Girl in. The Tramp will have none of it, and they barely escape. Of course, you realize this means no more job and now they have to leave town as well.
Obviously sick of this crap, the Girl begins to break down. I would too. However, the Tramp tells her to buck up and smile. He tells her they will get along somehow, somewhere and they get back up and start walking off into the road ahead:

Fade out to Chaplin's wonderful song "Smile".

THE END.

What are you waiting for? This movie is available on Amazon.