Random shots and an update on "Lame"

Here is a random collection of what I like to call..."Things I see while walking on the beach"

First up: Monk on the Beach

I told some people last week that I saw this huge Monk walking a tiny Chihuahua and I don't think they believed me. So when he showed up again tonight, I was glad I had my camera. I snapped this covert photo.

Next: Sandffiti

These could be a) crop circles, b) art completed by talented sandpipers, or c) sandffiti - a form of graffiti.

Next: Dudes on Sewer PipePeople (generally males leading younger males) who think it's "cool" to walk along the sewer outlet pipe. I await the moment the pipe suddenly opens, the smell overtakes them, and they fall into the sea.

Next: Footprints that aren't a sign that God was carrying me
Next: Annoying people who shouldn't be allowed to take my regular parking spot!

I like to call these things "Sunshine Come Latelys" - these people show up when the sun comes out, take all the parking, and leave little remembrances of their visit here behind. Like coke cans. And empty chip bags. And used diapers. Despite the garbage cans every 10 feet!

Even the sea birds are crowded by those folks.

Next: This shot I'll call..."What keeps the "Sunshine Come Latelys" away:

You'll notice in this next shot how empty the beach appears:

I wonder why?

Next: Sadistic stairs from hell

These stairs I take most every night to keep my Weight Watchers results at a good level.

Next: Obligatory lovely sunset shot:

Next: One night later, same beach, same time:

Now you FAITHFUL readers should remember last weekend's blog about "Lame" the duck I birthed. I suggested I might take him to the beach "for a visit", and tonight I did:
Lame at first seemed quite pleased to be outside. He liked the sand, and the sound of the waves, I think.

Then, a tragic turn of events:

Lame was not amused, as you can clearly see by his expression. But the worst was yet to come:

While I was focusing in on the very wet and annoyed Lame, a dog came up behind me and snatched Lame up into it's mouth! Although the dog dropped Lame quickly enough, the damage was done and now Lame was a bit traumatized and paranoid:

I had to talk him down off the rock. Took me quite awhile, as there are a lot of dogs on this beach.
Then I had to talk him out of the mussel shell. He called it his "armor".

His next action was simply pathetic:

Lame knows I collect beach glass, so he attempted to disguise himself as a yellow piece among the green and whites, hoping I would take him back home.

I did.

On Birthing a Duck

While perusing the aisles of Longs Drugs, in search of Easter goodies for the niece and nephews, I happened upon a small package containing a plastic egg and an attached card promising the miracle of birth. Yours for only 1.99. The card did mention I would be birthing either a chick or a duck. Intrigued, I bought one and decided to "test it out" before buying 10 more.

The instructions said to place the egg in water and wait 12-24 hours. Good. I wasn't about to sit on the egg in the first place.

The next morning, I see this:

A sign of life!! I control myself and do not head immediately to Baby's R Us for a car seat and diapers. After a long day at work, I come home to see this:

Oh my god! The head is crowning! I can't tell yet whether it's a chick or a duck, so I hold off on the nursery motif.


A couple of hours pass. I watch some Forensic Files and while watching The Daily Show, I hear a strange noise coming from the kitchen:
I can see an eye!! My god, the suspense is killing me! Chick, Duck or what?

The following morning, after a restless night spent worrying over Nursery schools versus Montessori schools for the Chick/Duck, I see this:
I see a...ummm...uh...a....thing coming out the side of the Duck...no Chick...no, Duck? The tension is unbearable, so I leave for work, letting nature take it course in my absence.

Later that evening, I check in on "Thing Hatching in My Kitchen" and see this: OK, so I can see a bill and two eyes..it's a Duck. But there is something not quite right about it's body, and this concerns me. I go online and research things like "lame ducks" and "odd ducks" on Web MD...to no avail.

A while later and it's time to break the Duck out of its very "Brave New World" incubator:
I am now very concerned for my Duck, who I have decided to name "Lame". Something is terribly wrong. The body is not really "Duck Like" and I am not feeling any love for him.

I thought perhaps re-introducing him to his womb may do something:WRONG. Now he is a fat, ugly, misshapen Duck. He also has this evil/worried expression that reminds me of a kid who sets fires, then can't escape them. Lame is not what I expected for my 1.99.

I take Lame back out of the incubator womb and set him up for his official birth portrait. I try not to show him my disgust:

As you can clearly see in this photo, Lame is worried that his webbed feet my never fully develop. Or maybe he is worried about his close proximity to my garbage can.

Below is a side shot of Lame:Lame's lower body really shows what a $1.99 Duck looks like. I don't think any more "Birth Eggs" will be purchased this Easter.

PLEASE NOTE: Lame is still alive and well, sitting in my kitchen by the fish tank. As ugly as he is, I could not turn him out into the streets. I wonder if he would like to "visit" the beach? Hmmmm.