Some Things to do when your niece and nephew visit for the weekend

First Thing:

Damage at least one of the children. This was easily accomplished by simply watching in horror as the niece accidentally slams the bathroom door on older nephew's fingers. The result:

Second Thing:

Take them bowling and watch the 7 year old kick your asses, score wise. Allow 9 year old to take photos for a change. The results:

Third Thing:

Take them to the beach and let them roam free, as opposed to them roaming free among your precious belongings at home. Allow already damaged nephew to show off his jumping abilities, then be horrified at the resulting photo:

Here are some fantastic photos the above child took:
This surfer shot is particularly impressive:

Here are some photos I took of the kids:

Fourth Thing

Don't start crying when the rain hits on Sunday. Pull out the bins of Legos, then let the kid use the camera again. The results:

I am not sure why the bad guy is holding up a guy on a bike, but, whatever:
This photo represents a full on robbery attempt at the local "M" Market:
Interesting composition here:

Not sure why this one handed pirate is leaning over the roof edge:

And last, but certainly not least...send them home with at least one new skill:
This guy picked up the "sucking Jell-O through a straw" skill quite quickly!

A Great Credit and Leslie Howard

The other night, I was watching my FAVORITE TELEVISION CHANNEL OF ALL TIME, Turner Classic Movies. Life as I know it would not be worth living without this channel. So I am casually watching the opening credits of a 1930's film and see this:

OK, if I am EVER going to be in a film, THIS is the credit I want. I love this credit so much I wish I had seen it prior to starting my blog, cause THAT is what I would have called it!

For your information, the film this credit was in was:

Yes, you know this was an EARLY film if they are merely "introducing" Wendy Hiller! She is now known as DAME Wendy Hiller and lived until 2003. Leslie Howard was unfortunately shot down by Germans in World War II.

Here are Leslie and Wendy during filming of Pygmalion. Nice shot.

Here is Leslie Howard, as Ashley Wilkes, with that bitch Scarlett O'Hara:

Here is Wendy Hiller towards the end of her life:

Film Score: 3 out of 5 stars, due to some ham acting by Leslie "yes, I did more in my career than merely play Ashley Wilkes" Howard. I actually prefer him in the film "The Scarlet Pimpernel". Now he was GREAT in that. Here he is making time with Merle Oberon in that film:But I digress. I only wanted to tell you that "Sarcastic Bystander" is that best movie credit I had ever seen!

An evening of "theater" - Grade School style

Tonight I was invited to see my niece in a school play. It was a Grade School Production of the "Three Little Pigs" and "The Wizard of Oz" stories. In one hour. My niece informed me her role was that of the "Hip Hop" Munchkin. Interesting, I don't recall that role in the Judy Garland version. I went anyway.

An audience made up of assorted relatives and friends all settled in their seats (in the cafeteria) and the curtain opened:

Ok, so I realize that the arts budgets for schools is non existent, so I kinda expected the paper trees and backdrop. Then some kids in black file out onstage, and they are to represent houses and walls...I think:
Ok, I am open to new interpretations of old stories. Then things get all weird. Mama Bear from "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" shows up, and interrupts the story:

I can barely hear the kids from my seat, but I get the gist that all these characters from different stories are going to be showing up, but then the actors in black come back and sit on the stage silently.

Finally, the wolf from the Three Little Pigs story shows up, but then so does the Troll from the Three Billie Goats Gruff story, followed shortly thereafter by the three billy goats themselves.
The niece and nephews around me started looking at me for explanations, of which I had none. I leaned over to my mother and said I was going to fake some kind of attack to get out of here. She wanted in on the ruse. Then I remembered, my niece had yet to appear in her part.
Ahhh, the first act ends, and there are sighs of relief (and some anxious laughter of what is to come) all around. Children are getting restless, and lets just not say what the adults were thinking at this point. A short five minute break and the curtain opens again (dear god)...

Well, this second act is at least following only one story, and they are using the soundtrack to the film for all the musical interludes. MUCH easier to follow this way. My niece the "Hip Hop" Munchkin does a stunning job, delivering all her lines on cue and dancing very well with the two other "Hip Hop" munchkins:
Then the Cousin in Law shows up as the Scarecrow. Excellent work as the Scarecrow, I must say:
Then the story gets all weird, with a Tinwoman l(instead of the TinMan) looking like she is about to bust out with "I will Survive" in full voice:

And then the highlight of the evening appears. This 4th grade master actor doesn't simply come out in a lion costume and say his lines. NO. This kid IS a lion, and he stomps around the stage, growling and acting like a Barrymore:
So they are off to see the wizard, and of course the Wicked Witch shows up with her flying monkeys. I am not sure, but I am pretty sure the Monkey's "wings" were plastic tikki masks:
I suppose I should be relieved that none of the monkeys were actually on wires and pulleys, but honestly, I was kinda hoping to see some tragic Monkey, Toto, tree, Mama Bear and Pig crash drama at this point.
So I continue to photograph the action, and here comes the Wicked Witch's big death scene. No water, no fire, no castle, instead the 4th grade witch does some kind of death dance and sinks to the ground. What? No "What a world, what a world...who would of thought that a good little girl like you would be the end of all my beautiful wickedness"??? That's a great line, and it should not have been edited out!!So they meet the Wizard of Oz, who happens to be this tiny blond fourth grader with a green vest on. Suddenly this show takes a big leap and changes the ending a bit (the nerve!) and has Toto the dog suddenly stand up, yell at everyone that she is sick of this crap and she (Toto) knew all along that all the dumb Dorothy had to do was click her damn heels and end all of this.

Hmmm...I wish I had known that.

Anyway, the evening ends with tremendous applause for the kids efforts:
My niece taking her well earned bow:
The critic's reactions are already in...the Preschool set:

The kindergarten set:
The infantile critic seemed to like it:

Tough Crowd:

Some Cast Photos:

I handed my niece her "after show" flower and headed out the door:

I swear to god the parking lot had emptied in less than 5 minutes!

Kids and Chaplin

I am still in the throes of my Chaplin movie kick, and had the chance recently to show one of his best, "The Gold Rush", to four of my TEN niece and nephews. I feel it's vital to introduce kids to different art forms, but at the right age. Silent movies require kids to be able to concentrate on the screen. All four of the kids watching the movie fell into the 7-10 age range. The kids were still young enough to find the "fall on the ass" humor hysterical, and yet old enough to understand the "he can’t get a break" mentality of the drama.

Reaction to the film overall was great. They all inevitably asked the same questions though:

Why did everyone wear grey and black clothing back then?
How come they couldn't talk, but we can hear music?

Isn't a Tramp a bad thing?

After quickly explaining that color film wasn't invented, and neither was sound recording (and the music was played WITH the movie, like their CD's can do), I explained that a "Tramp" back then was a bum, not what they were thinking. Then I wondered how the hell these kids know what a "tramp" is today? But I digress...

It never ceases to amaze me how much children actually understand. We always underestimate their comprehension. They completely "got" that he was in love with that girl, and she was being a total bitch to him. They all felt bad for the Tramp when the girls never showed up for the New Year's Eve party. They never questioned what the characters were doing or why.

To follow are some of their favorite scenes, and their reactions to them:

The Tramp taking the easy route down the mountain:

They loved that this guy simply sat down and slid down the side of the mountain. No staying on a long ass trail and taking days to get somewhere. No, just sit down, slide and get it over with.


The Thanksgiving Meal consisting of one Boot, well done: The kids completely believed that The Tramp and Big Jim McKay were starving. They were appropriately disgusted to see a boot come out of the big pot on the stove. Then they were laughing out loud when The Tramp ate the shoelaces like spaghetti and sucked the shoe nails like juicy ribs. One of the 7 year olds even commented..."I hope I am never hungry enough to eat my brother's stinky shoe!"

Big Jim McKay wants some chicken, and the Tramp will have to suffice:

All four kids were amazed at just how chicken like The Tramp was. I must admit, Chaplin really looks and acts like a chicken. The two older kids thought it was a computer animation, and after I told them it was just a costume, they wanted to know if the chicken costume was still around for borrowing!

The Tramp entertaining his fantasy guests by making dinner rolls dance:

This is a rather famous scene, and I've always enjoyed it. I wasn't sure if the kids would get it until I heard one of them exclaim..."Dude is pretending the forks are his legs! That's cool!".

The house on the edge of the cliff:

This was the highlight of the film for all 4 kids. From the moment the house is seen on the edge, to the final climax of the scene, they were rolling. They couldn't get enough of the two guys trying to get out of the house before it fell into the crevasse. They loved watching these two grown men panic, argue and struggle to get the hell out of there!

The kids were clamoring for more after the film ended, so I showed "The Kid" and two of his shorts (Payday and A Dog's Life) to them.

So, don't underestimate a kid's ability to sit through a silent movie. Introduce them to these silent film masterpieces. It's well worth the effort.