The Personal Hell I know as Ugly Sandals

Summer is approaching fast, and as it does, an impending sense of doom begins to envelop me. The days get longer...the pants shorter...and then it happens....FLIP FLOPS begin to appear. Now seeing these floor slapping, ugly foot revealing, rubber soled slippers of doom used to be bad enough. I'd be sitting in a restaurant, innocently sipping my wine and about to take a bite of something scrumptious when, out of the corner of my eye, I would notice a flash of whitish flesh protruding from under a table near me. Yes, someones ugly ass foot (practically in my face!) would cause me to flee.

Recently, I've noticed that flip flops have almost taken a back seat to a new generation of ugly sandals. Sandals like these:

(insert vomiting noise here)

What in the hell??? I mean, I don't think Jesus would even stoop to wearing something as ugly as those. Check out the "Mary Magdalene" version of these affronts to style:

I'll never be able to go near another pool! Now, ugly sandals are not a NEW phenomenon. Not at all...for years I have suffered this visionary delight:

Good old Birkenstocks have been torturing humans with their sudden and unwarranted appearance at various parties, christenings, music festivals (well, OK, maybe they belong there), school functions, sports games and even work meetings for years. Perhaps "B" wearers think it's OK to show up at a little league game wearing Birkenstocks if they are wearing the "fancy" version:

Well, it's not. I am trying to watch my nephew play baseball. I don't want to have to constantly avert my eyes from accidentally seeing your toes fight for space in the side strap area of a sandal!!!

And then we have THESE artistic renderings of the devils own sketchbook:

What can I say about a plastic looking rubber shoe in heinously bright neon colors that have holes punched in them? Hmm...

Oh yes...sticking crap in the holes does not hide their ugliness! That's what I can say! These shoes make me think you are lazy. Also that you may be an escapee from a mental hospital, where patients often require safe rubber shoes like these. And then there are the baby crocs:

No, not that type of baby croc....THIS TYPE:Yes, why NOT make your kid look as lazy as you? It should be noted here that people such as that "mother" Kate Gosselin firmly believe in making her kids wear these things. This fact alone should turn people off to being seen in crocs. But alas, I am confronted with the sight of these things in stores, restaurants, and shopping malls everywhere. Personal Dignity people...it's not just a phrase...it's a way of life.

So you are probably thinking, well apparently this writer doesn't like to see feet all over the damn place. Shoes that cover the foot should make her happy then. Shoes like these:

HELL TO THE NO! I don't know what herbal "enhancer" the designer of these shoes was on when this idea was born, but I have to say...these are the ugliest sandal/shoe/flip flop/rubber gloves for the feet that I have ever seen. And don't worry ladies, there's a version for you:

I mean COME ON...who in their right mind would purchase, let alone WEAR a "shoe" like this? The mere sight of someone walking around in these shoes is apt to cause a 15 car pile up! I'll tell you who would wear them...a co-worker of mine who actually thought they would be good for running. I can't tell you the joy, happiness and glee I partook of when she came to work the next day complaining that they sucked and made her feet and arches sore.

Another summer delight I have to deal with avoiding eye contact with are these:

Yes, here we have the infamous "shoedal". For those who don't want to hurt their shoe OR sandal's feelings by actually CHOOSING ONE. You know what? If you can't decide whether to wear a shoe or a sandal...STAY HOME. And yes, people can make their young children look as indecisive as their parents:

I cannot leave out one of the worst fashion crimes a soul can commit:

I had to go throw up.

A last ugly sandal for you to view and ponder the question: What is more important...personal dignity or personal comfort? OF COURSE I MEAN OUTSIDE THE HOME:

The above "footwear" are apparently known as "massage sandals" - for those who really, really don't care that the person at the next table in the restaurant has just thrown up all her wine and knocked her scrumptious food to the floor in a wild attempt to escape the viewing of such things.

Spring has done SPRUNG

Upon arriving home from work this evening, I was shocked...shocked I tell you... to see that spring had snuck into the back and front yards while I was out. I grabbed my camera and caught spring in full action as the evening settled in:
Even the grand old lady Cypress tree had a new look about her. Oh wait, that's because she lost some weight after some of her limbs came crashing down during one of last winter's storms:

The freshly mowed lawn, front section...(the best looking section, mind you):

Here are some of those lovely onion weeds that I was blogging about earlier this year:

This here is the "spoon daisy" plant I purchased with last year's GENEROUS tax return from THE MAN. Hmm, the $2.00 went a long way...they bloomed right after tax day:

This vine with blooms is in the front area, next to the driveway:

Hmm, it appears we have spring squatters! It's a Blue Jay's nest. GREAT, the loudest birds in the neighborhood:A tiny little Camellia:

These are blooms on a TREE in the backyard:

The sun was setting, so time to get some last shots and head inside:

There's Killer Diller, checking out the hill area for fresh kill:

and the sun set on a beautiful day...god only knows what'll be blooming this weekend!

Eggs, Chocolate, and Bunnies - it must be Easter.

Easter 2010 - a few eggs, a bit of food coloring, a few more eggs, lots of chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, a lot more eggs, drinks, fluffy bunny ears, baskets, parental Valium, a few more eggs, and a lot of unexpected rain.
We start with the annual sacrifice of the eggs (1 dozen for dyeing and 6 dozen for deviling):
Add in a few ridiculous egg dyeing kits among the traditional PAAS method:

Set up the spread with all supplies and sundry:

Of course, it's not egg dyeing night without the classic 1970's horror movie:

and then it was time:

SOME PEOPLE just had to get all creative with some electrical tape. I won't say who:

not bad for a can of Dr Pepper with no arms:and the finished effect:

Here are some of my efforts at EGGstravagant style (HA HA!..anyone?):

Final stash:

Then, as the smell of 6 dozen eggs permeated the very core of my house, my carpets, my clothes and so on, it was time to sacrifice 6 dozen eggs to the higher needs of hungry others:

Of course, egg deviling can only merit from the subtle influence of Charlton Heston on the TV:

mmm...eggs. needless to say, I didn't have any appetite for these things after the first 3 dozen had been completed:

Despite the heinous stormy weather, I managed to get all the eggs to the bro's house for easy consumption Easter day:

(note the hand of those who cannot wait)

The baskets from the Easter bunny came under attack immediately:

Time for some Easter shots before the others arrive:

So cute!

and then the crowds of sugared up kids, weary parents and assorted aunts and uncles descended:

Baskets were handed out:

Peeps were devoured, somewhat:

new goodies such as "edible Easter grass" was sampled:

Cousins hung out:

and the youngest of the bunch was mercilessly photographed:

a little silliness popped up now and then:

and of course there was the food:

Then the INDOOR Easter Egg Hunt began. Due to an unexpected late spring storm, we were all trapped (like rats) inside, and had to endure the noise and confusion of these kids hunting for eggs as if they were made of gold:

The kids made short work of the 40 eggs. 39 found quickly. Twenty extra minutes for the last egg, which my father took and hid in his pocket...thinking we would all enjoy STRETCHING THIS HELL out even further. He was almost severely beaten.

A sad tween, complete with droopy bunny ears, contemplates her TWO EGGS in a basket...

until she finds that her height has advantages!

Yeah, this next photo represents the parent's feelings as well:

Time for one more Easter photo, then I have to take some kind of meds and call it a night!!