Does a Bear Care? Nor do I...

When I watch television, I try to locate programming that educates me, or at least has something useful to offer. Shows like:

Forensic Files - which educates me in ways to avoid being killed by people who seem normal and live, "quietly", nearby.

What Would You Do? - this educates me to be ever ready in a store or cafe for hidden cameras and John Quinones to pounce and ask me why I didn't help that old lady being beat up in the butter aisle.

American Pickers - which teaches me to never let two guys drive up to my house and offer me $20 for an antique I have, as they will then make about $400 from whatever antique that I gave them.

Hoarders - actually, I don't think I learn anything other than a new level of disgust from this show.

The Daily Show - this shows teaches me that all politicians are completely oblivious to the fact that what they say in public and to the public is recorded and can and will be used against them at a later time.

Turner Classic Movies - which is useful in showing me that at one point in time, good movies were being made.

I won't publicly admit to other shows I may watch "occasionally" - *cough* South Park *cough* - but I will say that overall, I do strive to watch intelligent programming.

However, intelligence takes a flying leap however whenever one of those annoying "Does a Bear s- - -t in the woods?" Charmin Bear commercials comes on:

Case in point:

First of all, bears can't read. Secondly, one person in the bathroom at a time, please.

Do we need to see pieces of toilet paper stuck to a bear's behind?

First of all, bears don't play football. Secondly, bears don't care what is stuck to their fur.

Do we need to see pieces of toilet paper getting scrubbed off?

First of all, bears don't have brooms. Secondly, I re-iterate, bears don't care what is stuck to their fur!

I dare you to introduce this bear to the joys of "non sticking" toilet paper:

During my travels on the internet to locate images of the Charmin Bears, I came across this disturbing application available to travelers worldwide:

Yes, the Charmin bears can help you locate places to "Sit or Squat". I don't want to know what defines a "sit" or "squat" spot.

I say it's high time we brought back Mr Whipple. Simple. Dignified. A bit obsessive about people squeezing his toilet paper? Yes, but you wouldn't catch him wiping a bears behind!

Tweens are springing up this Spring!

Another niece has joined the ranks of all other tweens out in the world! This tween's current loves include:

* Horses - any kind, any time, anywhere

* Country Music

* Her aunt - uh, that would be me

* Purple - lots of it

* Animals of all sorts, including animatronic varieties.

The party celebrating 11 years of her greatness commenced on a sunny Saturday in early May:

Here she is in all her glory!
The party theme was Wild West (at least that's how the kids were behaving) - Cowboy and Cowgirl hats were the accessory of the day:

The "Star"
The "Sheriff":
The "Stinker"
The "Pink lady"
even Grammy got in on the western wear! Go Grammy!
Soon enough however, the cowgirl shifted her focus from cowgirl hats, rounding up wild cousins and rustling candy to the ever important "grubbing for gifts":
...and she did very well! Apparently this cowgirl lives on a modern range - a range that requires some sort of "Nook" or "laptop" or "iPod":

Then this "horse lover" moved on to a horrifying display of what happens when horses are made of candy:


This was all that was left of the poor victim...sick!!!
After the kids recovered from beating a candy horse to death, it was time to settle down for some sugary goodness:

some people, I WON'T SAY WHO, were a little demanding where dessert was concerned:
While in the background, others were having a hair raising good time in the trampoline:
Here are some last portraits I took of the birthday girl: