The Season is over! All Hail the new year...

Christmas came and went with it's usual vengeance. A niece and nephew in the nativity play at Christmas Mass:

Then off to grandmother's house for some photos and grub. Lots of excited kids, exhausted parents, and trunks full of presents to be dropped off for the Christmas morning carnage. I managed to get the kids to watch for Santa on the NORAD site:
Some of the older ones were aware that the "live footage" of Santa crossing the Great Wall of China looked suspiciously similar to last year's live footage. Uh oh.

Here are some shots of the Christmas morning craziness:

Hmmm, cookbooks, MP3 players, cameras, cell phones and video games. Whatever happened to Mr Potato Head and Lite Brite?

Previously blogged about cranky baby from Christmas photo card shoot earlier this month was in much better spirits, so I got some great shots of her:

And then, after presents, dinner, playtime, drinks, and dessert, I think this last photo sums up the holiday feeling quite sufficiently:

SF Nutcracker with some nieces!

On the 17th, I took two of my nieces to the SF Nutcracker. Some points to keep in mind:

A. It was 43 degrees out - that's damn cold for SF!

B. The tickets cost $60 a piece

We drove to SF, found parking in the Plaza garage and set off for the 2pm performance. The block and a half walk in the 43 degrees weather almost took our lives. Well, we were cold, anyway. The War Memorial opera house was besieged by little girls in fancy dresses, hanging out with moms and aunties and grandmas holding bags and snacks and cameras. I took advantage of the time in line to take a picture of the girls in all their finery by the Nutcracker poster:

Once inside, the ushers handed all the kids these little bags with stuffed mice and Nutcracker ornaments. Nice! We dropped off some Toys for Tots toys and headed for:

A. Restrooms - I am no fool

B. Snacks - we were hungry!

C. Ballet store - the inevitable

We thought a cookie and some sparkling cider sounded nice. Three cookies and two ciders later - $21.00! I had to return a cider as they only took cash and I had already spent $20 on two programs in the lobby!! Off to the Ballet store, where I told the girls to find something SMALL that would remind them of their day at the NUTCRACKER BALLET. Well, after they roamed around for twenty minutes staring at little dancing Claras, Nutcrackers of all sizes and colors and books with glorious photos of the show...both girls settled for...stuffed pigs. Oh well. I spied a lovely looking egg ornament with swirls of paint and glitter that I thought was nice for a remembrance. Until I saw the FORTY TWO DOLLAR price on it! Yeah, I'll blow an egg at home and paint it myself thank you!

So we head to our seats, which were not quite nosebleed, but high enough to induce a feeling of Vertigo when looking over the balcony railing. I gave a quick overview of unacceptable theater behavior:

A. No talking

B. No standing

C. No belching

D. No kicking seats in front of you

Then I got a photo of the girls awaiting the show to start, with pigs in arms:

The show was great, and both girls were entranced by:

The magic the Toymaker did in the party scene

The tree and room growing while Clara shrinks

The Mouse King's death scene

The Snow Ballet

I had seen the Nutcracker before, so when one of the Ballerinas fell during the Snow Ballet, I did not ask, as my niece did, if that was part of the show. NO. The girls were amazed at how fast she got up and got back in line! We were unfortunate enough to be sitting in front of a 4 year old who had not been told ANY theater rules and continually asked questions like...

Why is she doing that?

Where did he go?

Why are they dancing again?

What's on her dress?

...and so on. My niece kept shooting me "Help me!" looks and after both of us starting turning around and staring at the father during her questions, he finally took the hint and 3/4 of the way through the show, she finally shut up. DO NOT BRING YOUR CHILDREN TO THE THEATER IF YOU CANNOT TEACH THEM THE PROPER BEHAVIOR!

So a grand afternoon, and a shot of the girls in the lobby, on the way out:

Then some posing outside just for kicks:
On the walk back to the car, the girls asked to see the inside of City Hall. I tried the "they don't let people like us in there" excuse...only to be told that they were told at school that anyone can go in there for courts. DAMN, kids are getting too smart. So we made it through some metal detectors and got some pretty interesting shots of the girls hanging around City Hall:

Then it was time for dinner (Outback - these girls had high ideas!) some Christmas shoe shopping and the lovely time I like to call..."Drop off at Home"!

I think this image sums up the whole holiday experience quite well:

That's me, it's the 1970's and I am not enjoying the whole "Santa" experience. Believe me, if he were real, I would now be lined up at 5am at the mall...kicking kids out of the way...and handing him my very long and detailed wish list!

Winter Musings

Here it is, a couple of weeks before Christmas descends upon me with the emotional weight of an anvil, and today is the first day I am FINALLY able to breathe and feel a bit better. I missed out on my niece's 7th birthday, but word got back to me that the Gap Reindeer sweater was a hit. So tonight I helped my sister out with photographing her three kids for a Christmas card. NO FUN. I love those kids, but it was hell. Take one cranky 5 month old baby, two hyper kids, one clingy dog and mix that with one Auntie still stuffed up and medicated and the results spoke for themselves.

Sixty Eight photos and two hours later, my poor sister had only two, maybe three shots that were passable! I felt bad, then I remembered...it's a Christmas Card, not a Renior Painting. The kids are cute, so the card will be fine. This is one of the BETTER photos!

I came home tonight, cleared my nose AGAIN, and am now sitting in the glow of lights from my $40 Lowe's tree. I am not particularly fond of the "wading through piles of trussed up trees and other people pushing you away" process...but my pocketbook this year does not allow for the "casual wandering through spacious and expensive tree lots looking at pretty trees" method. Oh well, I have come to realize, after years of thoughtful and precise tree selection, that the damn trees all tend to look the same once the lights and ornaments are thrown on! This year's photo of the tree looks exactly like last years. And the year before last year's!

I tend to use birds a lot in my tree trimming, though I don't know why or when I started this. I think they look nice and kinda natural on the branches. Much more natural than some Darth Vader or Nascar driver ornament. I have some fantastic glass blown birds, and my friend bought me these beautiful Polish ones from a shop in the Castro in SF a few years ago. I took a photo of one for my blog:

So the countdown to the final gift purchases begins this coming week. I tried to avoid this by purchasing early, but the sinus infection kinda threw those intentions out the window. I cannot wait to get out there and fight for parking, carts, aisle positions and gifts! But it will all be worth it, for moments like this:

Sick at home...and sick of it!

Earlier this fall, I submitted to the new and barbaric practice of allowing someone to jab me with a needle in order to be "protected" from the flu for the winter season. I had been working a Health Fair for my company, and was watching other colleagues submit to this treatment all day. The nurse appeared joyful as she jabbed the needle full on into the victim’s... I mean volunteer’s arm. Towards the end of the day, I decided to bite the bullet and get the flu shot myself. It wasn’t too bad. I didn’t cry.

So why am I home from work AGAIN, second time in a month, sick? Oh, it’s not the flu I have, grant you...but it’s a sore throat and nasty cold. Do cold germs become stronger in the absence of their main winter competitor, old man flu? Do they see the chance to invade my system, unchallenged, and go for it? I tried to brave it out at work, but the combination of the headache and throat pain, coupled with watching friends of mine getting laid off from their jobs 3 weeks before Christmas was too much.

I went home at 3pm and the cold germs began their full out assault. The constant throat tickle with sneezing and coughing drama made sleep impossible. Now here it is two days later, Friday evening, and I've watched way too many episodes of Judge Judy, Judge Alex, Judge Cristina, Judge Hatchett, Judge Joe Brown and some of those World's Dumbest video compilation shows.

I think I'll pop in some classic Christmas movies tonight to mix things up a bit. Some Cary Grant in "The Bishop's Wife" and Jimmy Stewart in "The Shop Around the Corner" ought to do it.

Back to Blogging once I'm done with the clogging..nose that is!

Ridiculous Christmas Crafts

So I am thumbing through the Martha Stewart Holiday mag, as well as the December Martha Stewart Living mag, and I have come to the conclusion that this woman has way too much time on her hands.

The first annoying thing that I see: Her recipe for spiced cardamon cookies (scented with allspice and cloves, mind you) was annoying enough. I mean, how much damn flavor do you need in one cookie? But then, she just HAD to take it a step further, into what I like to call..."WTF Land". Once these cookies are done cooling...I am expected to "faux bois" them. Oh, sorry, you don’t know what this means either? Well, you press a wood grain design into the cookie to simulate wood grain on the cookie. Yes, you read that right...Your cookie should resemble a piece of wood when completed. Yum.

I continue perusing and find this: Jasperware ornaments. This article wasn’t initially annoying. It was a nice read about vintage clay pottery with raised "springerle" designs. It crossed into the annoying spectrum when I turned the page to read that if I couldn’t find enough of these things in antique stores to decorate my tree, Martha expected me to make them! The photos show a 4 step process that really is at least 24 steps. Find clay, color clay, find a German springerle cookie molds (no problem, right?), mold clay into design, let dry, trim clay mold, paint raised design, maybe gild some of them.....oh the hell with it! At this point I am going to Target to find some $2 ornaments. Seriously, though...what would possess someone to spend this much time on ornaments for a damn tree?

Disgusted further by reading a recipe to MAKE Bath salts for a gift (does Martha realize items like this can be bought anywhere?), I decide to move on to her very special, once a year publication known simply as "Holiday".

I remembered whose magazine this was when I saw this: Do you like birds? On your Christmas tree? Well, forget going to some store and buying, say, bird shaped ornaments. NO. You must make birds out of applesauce, cinnamon and glue. No, these birds aren’t for eating, they are for smelling good and remaining "cookie like" on your tree. Don’t forget! It’s not enough to cut out the shape from the cinnaglusauce. You must cover these with glitter and beads and hang them with MATCHING ribbons from your tree. Then you get to spend the rest of the holiday keeping small animals and children from eating the cinnaglusauce cookies.

I moved on quickly, only to find this: Make a Honey Walnut and Dried Fruit topping for your friends. Do I even need to say anything here? Disgusting.

Then I find this: Make crap out of your old sweaters - oh sorry, the article was really titled - Handmade Gifts. I think this was Martha’s way of saying, hey, I know we are in a recession and everyone is broke. This is her way of trying to be "frugal". Well, you need cashmere and wool sweaters. You need to "felt them". I, of course, immediately thought...why not just buy felt? But I digress. Once you’ve "prepared" your old ass sweater, you can then turn it into a small stuffed animal (incredibly detailed templates included), or some mittens (try to avoid using the underarm area of your old ass sweater for this one), or my personal favorite...a water bottle cover. Yes, I believe I saw a water bottle cover on, say, NO ONE’S list this year.

There’s no need to discuss the pine cone petal projects, as I recall making these when I was about TEN and can’t believe Martha is trying to resurrect this art form. No need to discuss the page devoted to making your own peppermint striped soap either. Seriously Martha, get out of the craft room and go to a mall. BUY THE DAMN SOAP and move on.

So, out of the two magazines hundreds of pages and dozens of ridiculous crafts, I found two that were mildly interesting. Button Snowmen on cards, and Beaded initials on wire. These look like thy may only take a day or so out of my life, no money, and little to no expertise.

I didn’t say I had time to do them!