Friday, January 16, 2009

A Daily Dose of Ingratitude

Every morning, before I leave for work, I make sure that Ingrate Bastard, the bird from hell, has a clean cage. See evidence below:
You’ll note the following highlights of the cage:
- Clean Water
- Fresh seed
- White paper towels lining the bottom
- Feed dishes connected
In short, I kiss the bird’s ass every morning.

Every evening, I come home to this:

You’ll note the following LOWlights of the cage:
- Greenish water with seed and toys in it.
- The purple perch portion of the mirror has been ripped from the top of the cage and not only tossed to the bottom, but liberally crapped on!
- There are piles of barfed up seed everywhere, including in and on his rather generously provided toys.
- The paper towel lining is chewed up and pushed around
- The once pristine perches are covered in some kind of explosive diarrhetic art.

This is why the bird is most aptly named Ingrate Bastard.

Here is Ingrate with the only thing he loves in this world, his plastic bird toy.

I rest my case.

No comments: