Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Of Pathetic Lawns and Opossum Tragedy

Every summer I attempt the impossible...a green lawn. As you can see below, the current state can only be categorized as "pathetic". Those aren't crop circles in the photo...each circle represents a sad ass bald spot: So I began the long process of sowing seeds and watching the SLOW results:

In the front yard, meanwhile...lovely tropical flowers bloom despite the fog:

So I headed for the garage to grab some more of the popular "Crack for Grass, the fertilizer guaranteed to wake up your sorry ass lawn!". As soon as I entered the garage, however, a certain smell hits me...it's the unmistakable smell of DEATH. Yes, I know what death smells like! I've changed diapers. So I followed my nose and found a tragically dead opossum in the bottom of a garage trash can.

I can only assume the poor thing went crawled in looking for food and couldn't get back out! I have spared you, dear readers, the image of the deceased opossum curled up in the bottom of the garbage can:
As you can see, I was forced to move the can outside due to the odor. Unlike the cat's victims, this thing is too big to simply toss on the hill. No, I felt the only thing to do was to give it a proper burial. Well, maybe not "proper", but I did cover it with dirt, place a stick at the head and play taps for it on a kazoo.
Meanwhile, Killer Diller, the cat with no pity, was hanging around:

And then the sun set on the grave of the unknown opossum:

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