Gift giving gone wrong

A quick list of Christmas gifts I will NOT be purchasing this year.

#1 - An Airplane window. Yes, you read that right. The website Uncommon Goods is offering up, for your consideration, an actual airplane panel...complete with a window, as this year’s holiday gift to give. Yours for a mere $1500. Integrate it into your house. Somehow.

#2 - Kota, the big ass animatronics Triceratops. Because Playskool feels every child should have a $250 stuffed animal that the child can actually sit on. And run in terror from when the battery short circuits and Kota starts coming after the kid.

#3 - The cashmere infant collection from Restoration Hardware for kids. WTF? CASHMERE...on a puking, drooling, not yet housebroken infant. Who puts cashmere on an infant? I’ve never even seen christening outfits dare to use such outrageous fabrics in their design. Yes, I can’t wait to watch my 5month old niece barf her formula all over a $129 cable knit cashmere one piece outfit.

#4 - Anything that has the following combination of words in the description: tickle me, laughing, singing, chicken dancing, ELMO, rocking, joking, etc. I don’t care if these dolls are cheap. This breed of toy falls into the "god I hate them, let me get their kid something like this" category.

#5 - A Lexus - No matter how many times the Big Red Bow Event commercial shows up on my Television set... it’s not going to happen. I will not be purchasing a $40,000 car for anyone I know, let alone myself.

So FYI family and friends...no airplane windows, no cashmere for baby and no Lexus.