Thursday, August 13, 2009

The day I discovered that I, too, was merely another Yahoo.

I was under the impression that the only yahoos that had to worry about the whole television conversion to a digital signal were ones clinging to their old ass TVs while living in the backwoods of towns like Podunk, Iowa or ButtMunch, Utah.

I was wrong.

One night, I head to bed to drop off to the calming voice of Peter Thomas. This is the guy who narrates those constantly running episodes of Forensic Files on TruTV. Nothing beats falling asleep to his droning voice: "...and when the body was brought up, the investigators noticed it had no arms." Ahhhh..... ZZZZzzzzz.

But I digress. That fateful night, I turned on the TV and saw THIS:

OH HELL NO! This situation was worse than any random murder I had watched on Forensic Files. I calmly contacted Comcast (say that three times fast!) and was told in no uncertain terms that I was one of the Yahoos that required a Comcast Transport Adapter! Quickly, my mind scanned the "Yahoos that require Transport Adapters" check off list in my head:

Lives in ButtMunch, Utah, or maybe Alabama. NOT ME!

Must not have digital cable. NOT ME!

Must be watching a TV set that was considered "outdated" when men landed on the moon. NOT ME!

So why was I a victim of this horrible situation? Well, it turned out that Comcast did not advertise about the OTHER reason people might possibly need a Transport Adapter. It seems if you utilize a splitter to connect cable to another TV in your are a YAHOO and might as well be living in Buttmunch, Utah!

I am advised to go pick up the free adapter at my local Comcast office. I complied. After standing in line for FORTY FIVE MINUTES (with all the other unfortunate Yahoos requiring adaptors), I was handed my transporter and headed home to install the thing. After all, darkness was falling! Nighttime approached! I needed my Forensic Files!

Here is the kit:
I pulled apart the kit and set out all the pieces for the EASY installation:
Below is the offending TV, only 3 years old, DIGITAL READY BY THE WAY...but requiring a splitter from the main TV:
As you can see, it's one of those small 13 inch sets. And YES, that is a VHS player on it. So what?? I began the "simple" process of hooking this thing up:

Plugged in Transport Adaptor: CHECK

Connected Adaptor from Cable cord to adaptor to TV: CHECK

Turned adaptor on: CHECK

Turned TV on: FAIL

I checked the cords:
Turns out the green floor switch (as seen in photo above) was off. He he he. So I turned it on and the adaptor and TV came to life:

Meanwhile, in the living room, someone was taking advantage of my absence:
After wrenching the credit card out of the cat's greedy claws, I returned to the bedroom to see that the transport adaptor had finished its set up. I did a final check:
Transport adaptor remote activated: CHECK
Television Digital Channels activated: CHECK
Use new Transport Adaptor remote to turn TV off: FAIL
I re-read the instructions. I turn off the TV manually and now cannot turn it on. I make the supreme sacrifice and CALL COMCAST.
Friendly Representative (FR): How can I help you?
Frustrated Me (FM): Yeah, uh this is Yahoo number 4, 298,342 calling.
FR: Yes, we've been expecting you
FM: What?
FR: I mean...what is the problem?
FM: Remote won't work
FR: Punch in the code 990711 and wait for the light to flash twice
FM: OK, it did
FR: OK, now turn off the TV with the remote
FM: it won't turn off the TV
FR: did you punch in the code and wait for the light to flash twice?
FR: let's try it again.
Now, I will cut the conversation here. Suffice it to say, I punched in the code AT LEAST 8 times. It never worked. Comcast finally gave up and told me that I would have to use my old remote to turn the TV on and turn the volume up or down. I would then use the new remote to channel surf. And then use the old remote to turn the TV back off.
Since it was getting close to bedtime, and Forensic Files was about to start, I agreed to give in and use two remotes to operate a simple 13 inch TV. The true sign of success is below:
In other news, the Bay Area has had nothing but bizarre weather lately. A week of fog, two days of heat, then some fog again. Last night supplied some heat as well as a great sunset.

Anatomy of a sunset, as seen from the backyard deck:


ComcastCares1 said...

Try these codes:

If that doesn't work, you can always go to our local office for a new one. Sorry for the trouble. I would like to help. You can contact me and provide your account info at the email below.

Sorry for the trouble.

Mark Casem
Comcast Corp.
National Customer Operations

JustMe said...

First of all, thank you for responding after finding my blog about the issue I had!

Secondly, I want to point out that the Comcast rep I dealt with was a great guy, very professional and tried very hard to fix my problem. He just could not get that remote to accept the magnavox tv code!

and lastly, I will check out that link and see if any of the codes fix the issue. I will email my response to let you know how it goes!


BFlood said...

Ah, technology. It makes life so convenient. Great post.

I actually produce occasional episodes of 'Forensic Files'. It's a great show. However, with a backyard view like yours, I don't know that I'd bother owning a TV.
Anyway, if you want info on new episodes and the inimitable Mr. Thomas, see

Eym said...

Friggin hilarious!

Eym said...

you are probably wondering who 'eym' is... two guesses...I'm fabulous and pink is my favorite color :-)

JustMe said...

Hey there BF Flood!

Thanks so much for the Forensic Files link... what a great site! I learned so much and enjoyed learning about Peter Thomas as well. The site is now a favorite on my links!